Effective Date: May 2025

Welcome to Aussgardener.com, the only garden store parody site where chaos blooms and policies are as flimsy as our checkout process. By using this site, you agree to these Terms of Service (or at least, well pretend you do).

1. Use of This Site

By accessing Aussgardener.com, you agree to: Not expect anything to work properly Laugh at least twice (preferably once at our checkout and once at our marketing strategy) Understand this is a satirical website, not an actual gardening store Refrain from suing us unless you’re also planning to sue a clown for being funny

2. User Conduct

You agree not to: Send us real orders. We wont fulfill them. Take the site too seriously. We sure dont. Use the contact form to send us hate mail unless its funny and well-written

You are encouraged to Share the site with friends Mock poor marketing decisions Send us unsolicited compliments

3. Intellectual Property

All original content, graphics, and absurdity are copyright Aussgardener.com. Any resemblance to real brands, businesses, or Brians is purely coincidental but entirely intentional.

Feel free to screen record, screenshot, or turn the entire website into a fridge magnet, were not precious about it.

4. Disclaimers This site is a parody. Seriously. Were not selling anything. We make no guarantees about uptime, accuracy, or how many Ferraris we may accidentally manifest. If you read something here and think, Thats probably not how business works, youre right.

5. Limitation of Liability

We are not responsible for Any gardening-related confusion Emotional damage caused by seeing our product thumbnails Sudden urges to rebrand your own business out of sheer panic Viral laughter that leads to workplace warnings

6. Changes to These Terms

We may update these terms whenever we feel like it, or when we run out of things to water in our fake garden. Check back occasionally if youre bored.

7. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the Laws of the Internet, Satire Clause 404, and The Eternal Right to Laugh at Bad E Commerce.

Questions?

Just yell Brianne! out loud and someone might hear you. Or use our ever changing dynamic contact methods for a mysterious digital experience.